Free PDF Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity
Free PDF Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity
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Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity
Free PDF Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 5 hours and 37 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: christianaudio.com
Audible.com Release Date: January 16, 2009
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B001Q58II4
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I'm very critical of how the Church talks about sex and so is Lauren Winner. She takes the approach of a single person choosing chastity for the sake of drawing nearer to God, and makes an excellent case. I never felt like I was being pelted with verses or shamed for (what is, according to other authors,) my lack of faith as evidenced by the war within me over sexual issues. While I still would have liked to see some of the science which backs up all of the biblical principals laid out in the New Testament, this book is one of the better I've read on the subject.
Lauren Winner, author of Girl Meets God: A Memoir and recently, Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Disciplines (Pocket Classics), put out a book in 2005 titled, Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity. And that's exactly what Winner designs to do: talk about sex in a realistic fashion, from a biblical worldview, that allows us to get past various myths about sex, including the highly eroticized and romanticized beliefs on sex we frequently absorb from both the world and the church.You're familiar, no doubt, with the statistics on Christian sexuality. We don't stand out as very different in our sexual behavior, which means our basic beliefs and ideas about sex must not be that different either. If all those books in the "Christian living" section of the bookstore aren't helping us develop ideas regarding our sexuality that differ from social norms; if they aren't helping us believe that what the Bible has to say about sex is relevant and true, something isn't right. So what makes Winner different? Real Sex offers an alternative to the magazine-like "Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity" by stretching beyond spoon-fed "dos and don'ts" derived from proof-texted Scripture, and instead, presents the case for sex within marriage from a holistic, biblical view of who we are and how we relate in the world sexually.From the creation-fall-redemption narrative presented in the Arc of the Gospel, Winner posits an important part of who we are is that we are embodied, and the main way in which we relate in the world sexually is communal. Chapter three is aptly titled, "Communal Sex: Or, Why Your Neighbor Has Any Business Asking You What You Did Last Night," and helps remind us that community is a part of the creational order. Winner reminds us that Scripture flies in the face of our over-individualized, over-privatized American way, exhorting the community of the faith to be intimately involved in one another's lives.Already we're presented with a meaty alternative to the false views of sex, or we could say, unreal sex propagated in force by our surrounding culture. The next two chapters speak truth against the lies about sex we hear both from our culture and from some of our churches. These chapters give readers an opportunity to take a step outside of their everyday, cultural surroundings and consider them.Winner points out that society tells lies like "sex can be wholly separated from procreation" (64), cohabitation is a good practice-run (68), modesty doesn't matter (71), and "good sex can't happen in the humdrum routine of marriage" (77). And despite an effort to do right and protect the biblical ethic of sex within marriage, and with honorable intentions, "the church tells a few fibs of its own" (85). Winner chooses to discuss four of these fibs: "premarital sex is guaranteed to make you feel lousy" (85), "women don't really want to have sex anyway" (90), "bodies (and sex) are gross, dirty, or just plain unimportant" (93), and finally, if we've gotten over the idea that bodies are bad, now we're obsessed with technique (97), as obsessed as our secular counterparts.The last few chapters of Winner's book touch on topics such as kissing, pornography, and masturbation, and dish out practical, and I think rather good and helpful, ideas to guide us in practicing chastity within our caring Christian communities. Winner reunites chastity with the other spiritual disciplines, and talks about what marriage, children, sex, and singleness teach the church, why each is important in God's economy, an economy of repentance and forgiveness. Placing sexual purity back within a story that's bigger than itself makes the issue of chastity important again, re-giving it meaning by re-giving it context.
I had a Spanish roommate in seminary that chided Americans for being too uptight when it comes to sex. The Christian book market is a prime example of this shortcoming. I've grown weary of books that are little more than Scripture passages and "scared straight" stories about the dire consequences of moral failure. But "Real Sex - The Naked Truth About Chastity" is a welcome exception to that trend. It acknowledges the fact that sensual sin tends to feel good, which is why so many partake in it. No, the author doesn't blow off the Bible or advocate immorality. What Ms. Winner does is illustrate the truths behind the Biblical passages concerning chastity in a scholarly and thoughtful way. She has a very adult (i.e. mature) take on the subject, although teens would benefit in a preventative and proactive sense from Ms. Winner's insights.Based on her writing style and literary references, Ms. Winner is obviously an intelligent and well-educated Christian woman. She's not a super-functional guru in the cult of virginity who is so heavenly minded that she's no earthly good. Instead, she is refreshingly honest about her weaknesses, including her brushes with fornication during her BC days and as a new believer. However, she doesn't try to whitewash or justify her failings, nor does she engage in self-flagellation. Instead, Ms. Winner evaluates her actions (and subsequent growth) within a Biblically based context. She does a much better job defending the Scriptural ideal of chastity via her thoughtful approach than the shock and awe crowd does with their "God says it; that settles it" attitude.That doesn't mean Ms Winner forsakes the authority of the Bible. Instead, she expands on the reasons why God would decree that fornication and adultery are sin, and why chastity is a spiritual discipline, much like fasting and prayer. For example, adultery damages the family, which is the foundation of any community. In addition, it creates disharmony in the larger community due to broken friendships and mistrust. In contrast, practicing chastity benefits the community by strengthening trust and grounding relationships in love and respect. This kind of reasoning shows the universal truths that Scripture contains, thus demonstrating it's relevance for us today. Also, I appreciated her defense of singleness and celibacy, especially using Christ's life as an example. As one who is still unmarried in his late thirties, I've felt more and more marginalized by the typical family-oriented church. Ms. Winner brings this problem out of the shadows and confronts the church to appreciate its singles and tap their potential instead of shunting them off into singles' groups.There are a couple spots where Ms. Winner's reasoning was a bit too academic for my taste (understandable, since she's working on her Ph. D. in American religious history at Columbia). In addition, I would have liked her to deal with chastity as it relates to homosexuality. But these are minor complaints, and overall this is a fine and necessary work. It's safe to say that over time she'll take a high place in the pantheon of Generation X Christian writers and thinkers. "Real Sex" is the real thing when it comes to addressing the Christian discipline of chastity. Bravo to Ms. Winner for her take on this controversial subject.
In an age that doesn’t blink at the notion of promiscuous and illicit sex, Lauren Winner compellingly shows that sex has a good place where God has ordained it, but that it must be avoided outside of divine boundaries. She argues that, contra conventional wisdom, sex is a communal concern, and what we do with our body matters to us, to others, and to God. She writes accessibly, compellingly, and frankly, never forgetting that God created sex and placed it as a legitimate activity within the covenant of marriage.
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